The Authentic Self has been named in previous articles as an intrinsic leader, an inner witness and a provider of both care and boundaries. The essential nature of Authentic Self, however, goes even deeper than this.
The Authentic Self is a deep, bottomless well of love.
This well is central to our being. It is our essence, our core nature.
Religions and Spiritual thinkers have called, and continue to call it our Essence, the Soul: the inner aspect of ourselves that remains pure and untouched.
Despite the sins we have committed, the abuses we have imposed on others, the errors we have made, each one of us harbours an unlimited well of love, untouched and unscarred by life’s battles, with the intrinsic ability to love without limit, without judgment, without condition.
He (or she) who is inconsiderate of others, who steals, who abuses, who commits acts of violence; the bigot who slanders under the flag of prejudice, the murderers who inflict legacies of loss onto the families left behind, the Hitlers’, Stalins’, Saddam Husseins’, the despots past and present, the robbers of dignity through acts of torture and genocide – each is endowed with a deep well of love.
Beneath the acts and intentions of all “evil-doers” resides an ability to love, care, and accept, without judgment prejudice or harmful intention, something that may be hard to hear and believe if you have in any way suffered or been impaired by the atrocities of such people…
When trauma occurs, the Well is covered over and our defenses and resistances take charge and make many of our life choices.
When we set out on our personal growth journey, we begin the uncovering, the unearthing of the Well.
As we continue to challenge and re-consider the choices being made for us by our defenses, as their hold weakens, our Well, the Authentic Self, is gradually unearthed, uncovered, to become eventually a force of influence within our emotional system and in our lives.
Authentic Self never sets out to hurt you or anyone else. Authentic Self is all-embracing, all-accepting and parental in its make-up. It is kind, caring, and benign, both towards you and others.
Essentially, it is Authentic Self’s intrinsic ability to love unconditionally that the defense does not trust.
Defense makes an impaired association between loving another and boundaries, believing the more willing and able you are to love and accept others, the easier it will be for them to cross your boundaries and to walk over you and ultimately take advantage of you.
Defenses believe authentic love is porous, that by nature, unconditional love and acceptance is an open door to trauma.
Authentic Self by its very presence, they reason, is an open invitation for trauma.
Defense distrusts the Authentic Self, believing authentic love and care will get in the way of necessary self-protection. Therefore defense reasons, Authentic Self’s place at the head of the emotional system must be supplanted by defense’s leadership, because, it believes, if Authentic Self sits in the position of leadership its intrinsic inability to provide appropriate boundaries will inevitably incur, if not attract trauma.
What our defenses do not have the ability to see, being outside of their experience, is that boundaries are, in fact, a natural outcome of love.
In fact, the greater my love, the stronger will be my boundaries.
Love and self-protection go hand-in-hand.
Thank you to the 310,694 of you who read my blog this past month, Pietro.
To read more on any of the following topics, please click on the links below:
Personal Growth: Stepping Onto Your Personal Growth Journey.
The Authentic Self: Are You in Command of the Direction Your Life is Taking?
Trauma: Everyone Has Encountered Trauma.
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