Chapter 3 Blog 4: Are You in Command of the Direction Your Life Is Taking?


Who observes? Who is the observer witnessing the parts? When any emotion or behaviour is named as a part, an observer to the part is created. As soon as you acknowledge, “A part of me feels distressed,” or, “There is a part of me who feels like relaxing now,” automatically, an observer in you is now witness and present to the feelings, concerns and experiences of these parts. This new presence changes the internal emotional landscape. Whereas before you may have only been aware of the concerns of one single part of you, such as an overwhelming, dominating feeling of distress, whenever you name, “There is a part of me who feels in distress,” at least two experiences are now occurring simultaneously: the feeling of distress, and an observer and witness to the distress, or to the part experiencing distress.

There is now greater choice available. The choices are: do I adhere to and accept the concerns this one particular part of me has, or is there another perspective to the situation the part is reacting to that is may be more relevant here?

This inner observer or inner witness is the Authentic Self. It is the part of ourselves that possesses the innate ability to be present both to ourselves as well as to others. We all have an Authentic Self. Personality parts within our emotional system have the tendency to cover over our Authentic Self and our ability to be present, and therefore the concerns, perspectives and experiences of our personality parts become the dominant and often most overwhelming experiences. This is the prime reason why we lose touch with the Authentic Self experience, and the ability to sustain a state of presence.

The Authentic Self is a highly significant resource in every aspect of life, one that will be constantly referred to and built upon throughout this book’s journey. However, the most important quality and trait of Authentic Self to be identified at this stage of the journey is the right of choice. In naming the part and consequently taking a step back from the part into Authentic Self we now have the choice to accept the part as being the sole experience, or not. We as Authentic Self may choose to disagree with a part and say ‘No’ to its perspective or concerns. Consequently, we may discover a far healthier and more appropriate way to handle the situation.

One of the key roles of Authentic Self, to be discussed in a later chapter, is that of the inner leader to our emotional family. It is ultimately the Authentic Self who has the power of choice and the ability to accept advice – or not. The Authentic Self is the true decision-maker.

The more able and willing you are able to be present to yourself and your present needs, the better able you are to be truly in command of your life and of the direction your life is taking, or the direction it needs to take.

Questions for Conversation:

How do you know when you are in your Authentic Self? What do you experience?

Are there times when parts cover over your Authentic Self experience?

Are there certain times, occasions, or situations when parts are more likely to take over?

What changes for you when they do become more dominant?  

Tune in next Friday for excerpts from a brand new chapter from A Return to Consciousness!

6 thoughts on “Chapter 3 Blog 4: Are You in Command of the Direction Your Life Is Taking?

  1. madelainne k.joss

    I ‘m wondering about a 3rd ‘party’ in all this P………….life.

    Most of my inner family enjoys a functional and loving relationship with the Authentic/observer/witness/ resource/ Self thanks to all I’ve learned thru my association with the ARC Institute.

    Some of my members offer their best effort in making things happen, some take coaching/counsel eventually concluding it may not be in our best interest, the timing is off or other assorted reactions or responses. There is a part of me who occasionally asks ‘what would you have me do” — “you” being a 3rd player, a bigger context, LIFE or the ‘Universe’ as some refer to. In this bigger context I suspect valuable information also resides. I feel it in my best interest to pay attention to what it is being dished out here as well.

    Life seems to be a whole spectrum from ‘ I want what I want when I want it’ on one side, everything in-between and ‘not my will but thine’ on the other. This ‘spectrum’ may know more than the sum of my parts, including my Authentic Self……..or is this thinking a contribution from “cop-out” ?

    Your comments are appreciated.

    • In response to MKJ, I feel that when I am coming from my authentic Self, I am in alignment with Spirit/Life/Universe.

    • This is an important observation, Madelainne. Having a loving relationship between the inner family and You, as Authentic Self essentially means your heart is now more open to yourself. Metaphysical study claims the area of the heart has interested in love and compassion. While this is true an open heart is also interested in your life’s path or life’s task. This can be more readily translated as your career, or interests, or projects you may be drawn to dedicated yourself to. So the question, “What would you have me do?” is very timely given the stage of personal growth you have entered. I encourage you to stay with the question.

      As we continue through the book’s excerpts we will increasingly be exploring our authentic nature: what it is to be truly authentic. An important ingredient of authenticity is the willingness to acknowledge our limitations and the willingness to seek or to listen to counsel. While counsel, advice, or direction may be forthcoming from people or life itself, counsel also includes listening to our own intrinsic wisdom, and the option of listening to the voice of Spiritual Wisdom. I believe this path to be a very personal path of discovery.

      Authenticity invariably includes the strengthening, honing, exploration, and/or development of our spiritual nature. It is part of the journey. I encourage you, Madelainne, to continue asking the questions, to listen to your personal Counsel, and to trust that You will select the best and most appropriate choices for yourself.

  2. Some thoughts on the observer:
    Certainly, the observer is a highly useful aspect of Self in the noticing of ‘how it is that we are’ and the possible conscious pattern shifts. However, the observer can also be observed – by whom? As long as something can be observed, or seen as an object – an experience, a form, a thought/concept, a feeling – there is a consciousness prior to that limited identity. In his search for Truth, Ramana Maharshi’s ‘Who am I?” inquiry was his method for the potential knowing of purely subjective Self – pure Awareness beyond/before conditioned personhood. From this perspective, the transcending of attachment to personhood and its story of ‘me’ is the opening into the freedom of natural effortless Self as Source.

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