We cannot have resentment and remorse towards ourselves and be in forgiveness.
Neither can we be forever angry at another and claim to be in forgiveness.
To move towards the territory of forgiveness we need to begin reconciling the anger and rage we direct towards ourselves and we need to reconcile the unresolved rage we hold towards others.
Four Good Reasons to Beat Myself Up:
1. If I grew up in a family where rage and not healthy anger expression was only ever modeled, I will likely become afraid of my own anger. So I will direct it towards myself and see myself at fault.
2. It is easier to direct my anger towards myself than to speak my anger towards others.
3. I am deathly afraid my anger will go out of control and turn into rage, in the same way as I witnessed all around me in my family. Better that I direct it towards me rather than towards others and risk hurting those I love.
4. If I am angry at the person who abuses me but despite this I am more afraid of losing this person, I may make the choice to hold onto my anger and re-direct it towards myself than take the risk of expressing it.